I am by no means claiming to be an expert on the bible, but I do believe The Book of Matthew verse 29:10:16 actually commands ‘Thou shalt be terrified of triathlons‘.
Indeed, I think both the Torah and Quran both include edicts (although forgive me if my translation of the Hebrew and Arabic respectively is a little rusty) along the lines of ‘Triathlons shalt cause terror amongst the peoples‘.
And because I’m always keen to offend as many of my blog readers as possible, as equally as possible, I believe it would be remiss of me not to mention that the Dalai Lama himself is believed to have unequivocally stated ‘F*ck Triathlons‘. Continue reading