This is me trying to suffocate myself or something
So the triathlon is on Sunday and I am trying really hard not to think about it, frankly.
But at 3am, when I usually either 1) lie awake regretting that dumb thing I said four years ago or 2) sit at my laptop typing my next blog post, it is hard to not let my mind wander straight into the arms of Triathlon Remorse.
It’s like the hot darkness of the living room breeds fear. I listen to the possum in the roof having its nightly rave (because apparently if possums get their hands on rat poison it’s like the equivalent of ecstasy for humans or something) and my stupid brain starts THINKING. Of all the things for a brain to do!
It doesn’t stop until I reassure myself that hopefully I will crash my car into a flaming wreck on the way to the race and everything will be ok. And finally sleep takes hold.
*Mirrium-Webster Dictionary’s** definition of triathletise: verb, patent pending, p.p triathletised. To make changes or refine a product, event or method in order to incorporate wicked triathlon skills – namely swimming, biking, or running. Examples “Lauren triathletised her workouts” and “you can triathletise this by wearing a swimming costume and doing it in a pool” and “watch me triathletise the bejeezus out of this”. See also: Triathletisation, the action of triathletising something.
I have mentioned before that learning to become a triathlete entails more than learning to swim, bike and run. You have to learn how to mash those things together somewhat seamlessly. You have to learn how to pace yourself and ‘keep some in the tank’ for the next portion of the race. You have to learn to fuel your body with food and drink at the right times without throwing up or spilling it all over your bike as you try to move forward. You have to train your mind to stay in the game when everything is hard and it hurts.
All of these things I have been Googling and reading about over the last few weeks with enthusiasm. I like the idea of learning how to employ a fueling strategy and devising plans for approaching each leg of the race; it makes me feel like a proper athlete.
I also like learning the triathlon jargon. I am hoping to start throwing it into conversations; I’ve been practicing with Matilda the dog. And I am discovering that the world of triathletes is particularly passionate about acronyms, of which I am compiling a list… Continue reading →
Ah, swimming. Or should I say ‘ARGH! Swimming!’ If you go too far wrong, you can drown or get eaten by a shark – so it’s pretty important that a triathlete gets this bit right. I am confident that I could breast stroke just about any distance, but I would be too slow (I know this because I timed myself, in a desperate bid to convince the planet that I could be the first triathlete to complete all swim sections doing breast stroke) Continue reading →